“I let you see the parts of me that weren’t all that pretty and with every touch you fixed them. Now you’ve been talking in your sleep. Things you never say to me. Tell me that you’ve had enough…I’m sorry I don’t understand where all of this is coming from, I thought that we were fine. Your head is running wild again my dear we still have everythin’ and it’s all in your mind” – Pink
Being in a relationship isn’t the easiest thing for anyone. Let alone people that have anxiety and those that overthink, I bet it’s unbearable for them.
People that overthink have anxiety, it might potentially ruin their relationship but they really have nothing to do about it. They’re hoping for the best and they’re just waiting patiently for someone that understands them and can accept them the way they are.
Understand that their minds are playing them.
People with anxiety can’t help but overthink about anything. They pay attention to every detail and every gesture and they can’t help but do that. Try to understand that picking up on details that might seem simple for you is a natural thing for them.
But if you think about it, they’re just afraid of something bad that could happen. Nothing makes life hard for them more than thinking about the little details too much and jumping to conclusions.
Understand that they have no control over that.
Reassure them that everything is okay.
Even if nothing happens, always tell them that they are fine and that everything is doing well. Tell them that you are there for them. Tell them that they can feel secure and safe with you no matter what happens.
Anything can lead them to thinking that they’re doing something wrong. Even something as a lack of response from you.
When you just start dating, they are going to start worrying about every little thing.
If you want to help them, let them gain your trust and confidence. Learn to trust them and let them know that you do. It will definitely help their anxiety dissolve.
Be the one who is always sure.
Anxious people are often paradoxical about every little thing. They will always ask you about anything that pops in mind to make sure that it makes you happy. That doesn’t mean that they can’t do stuff on their own, it’s just that they can’t help but worry about doing something that might make you rethink about being with them.
It’s not their fault, it’s just their brain’s playing games on them.
Learn to read them attentively.
Understand that if they don’t talk too much, there might be something wrong with them. When they’re constantly looking at their screens, they’re probably just waiting for an answer. Anything they’re doing isn’t really their fault, they can’t help but overthink about anything. Know that if they respond with the word “fine” when you ask them how are they doing, they’re not really fine, they’re probably just afraid of disturbing you.
You must learn how to read their language. Know their tricks and curves. Learn how to understand them just by looking at their eyes. Because they mostly won’t even try to tell you if they’re feeling a certain way.
Give communication its value.
People with anxiety make assumptions very easily and it’s not their fault. If you see them jumping to conclusions, talk it out. When something’s wrong, talk about it. If there’s a problem, try to find a solution together, this will assure them that you’re with them even if they’re overthinking everything. Try to keep your fights or arguments clean, don’t make them feel bad because they’ll start blaming themselves for stuff they have no control over and that’s unhealthy for your relationship. Always talk to them in the nicest way possible.
They care. They care about saying and doing everything right and making someone happy and that’s what it comes down to. If you can understand the root of fears and worrying is caring maybe it will help you to understand.
Learn how to talk to them when they’re feeling anxious.
Know that there are some things that you can’t fix. Sometimes you’ll have nothing to do but listening to them and let them speak it out. There’s nothing overthinkers love more than a good listener, be the one that makes them feel safe and assure them that everything is going to be alright. Let them know that you are there for them, sometimes knowing that they are not alone can be very helpful.
Love for who they really are.
People with anxiety can hardly love themselves. They always see themselves as a source of trouble and they’ll never fully love or accept themselves.
Your role as a partner is loving them unconditionally when they can’t stand themselves. Be there for them. Be the shoulder they lean on. It’s your job to love them and maybe help them start loving themselves. Understand them and love them with all their flaws and imperfections.
People with anxiety are people that will love you unconditionally, they’ll never ask for something in return but your care and love back.
They’re honest, caring, and most importantly, they’ll never stop showing you how much they love and appreciate you.
Because someone who overthinks is also someone who overloves.